The Razzies are annual awards saluting the worst Hollywood has to offer.
I saw a really bad movie on Friday. Never mind which. One of the things I enjoy about writing this blog is that I get to be a critic without being critical, so I generally only write about works of art that I’d like to endorse. My mom would be proud that I am following her injunction to refrain from saying anything at all if you can’t say anything nice. So never mind the title. The point is that for two hours I was in a theater watching a movie that, had I know better, I would not have watched, let alone paid $12 for!!
The way I see it, when you are in that situation, your options are limited. You’ve paid a significant amount of money for a ticket. Which is more of a waste: losing the time you will spend watching a movie you aren’t enjoying, or losing the money you spent on the ticket? Theaters do not refund the ticket price because you didn’t like to movie. Moreover, its not always a straight-forward choice. For example, maybe you are at the theater with friends who want to stay.
Well, there is a third option.
Even the worst movies can be made fun. Below are some techniques used by my friends on Friday or on previous occasions.
1) Play guess the next line of dialogue or plot twist. Genre movies are predictable. They always lead to a scene in which there will be a line of dialogue of a certain type. For example, when heroic but not central character gets eaten by the monster, he will say something sarcastic. Bad movies they aren’t even original with these. See if you can guess what will be said. Plot twists are predictable, too. You can tell who will end up with who as a romantic partner, who will die, and who is going to betray the protagonists within the first 20 minutes of the film.
2) Play count the cliches. Just how many how are there? This one is a good game for cinephiles, because you can argue afterward about the origin and history of the cinematic cliches. That scene may have been done a thousand times, but who did it first and who did it best? Here, by the way, is a funny site on “Movie Cliches.” The literature scholar in me feels compelled to point out that items on the list are not all cliches according to any proper definition of the word, but it’s a funny list.
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3) Spot the editing errors. Does the movie take place over two hours but the leaves change color in the background? The lower the budget the more glaring these will be, so low-budget movies should be seen as trainers.
4) Go with someone you like, so you can make faces or grab one another’s arm to communicate your feelings about the movie. A ridiculous line becomes funny when you can roll your eyes at one another.
5) Move further back so you can see the audience and be amused by their reactions. No matter how bad the movie, there will always be some people who think it is amazing. Be amused by them. Though there is always a risk that such people will seem tragic and make you sad.
An audience at a screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Bad movies are even more fun if you watch them at home where you can actually make a running commentary, but they need to be enjoyed communally. Otherwise, it’s just a bad movie. Arguably the best bad movie ever is the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Watching a late night showing of that movie is is the most fun one can have in a legitimate movie theater and not be breaking the law. But have you ever watched it on DVD on your own? It kind of sucks that way.
So, aside from leaving the theater to get a drink, or sneaking into another movie, what advice do you have for making the best of a bad movie?