Arlene J. Toler, An Extraordinary Woman

Arlene J. Toler and her son Michael

Arlene J. Toler and her son

Today, August 7, is my mother’s birthday. When she was alive I probably would have remembered, but I might well have forgotten. Since her passing, however, it seems I never forget, not only her birthday, but the anniversary of her marriage to my father and anniversary of her passing.

My mother was not an extraordinary woman by the standards of History with a capital H. She didn’t change the course of civilization or impact the lives of millions. But she was an extraordinary woman. My mother and father both worked very hard to make sure that we were happy and successful.  They gave everything they could to ensure our success, but it is only now I realize how much.

I don’t wish to canonize my mother. She was far from perfect. For example, there was a time when I began to assert my independence that she found that difficult and it strained our relationship.
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My mother grew up poor, yet she did all she could to make sure we had every advantage she didn’t. Both of my parents did, and every success I have in life I owe to the opportunities that they created for me.  All of my failings stem from my inability to take full advantage of them.

Even more than all that my mother was my moral support, my friend and confidant. Whether it was sitting at a table with me working on an elementary school report, defending me to my junior high school teachers, cutting out and sending me Doonesbury from our local paper while I was overseas, or supporting life choices after I left home, she has been there for me.

Both mom and dad have. I have been VERY lucky in that regard. So this is in loving memory of Mom on her birthday. Mom, I love you, I thank you, and I know you will always be with me.

3 thoughts on “Arlene J. Toler, An Extraordinary Woman

  1. Gee thanks for getting me all teary eyes. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Been thinking of her a lot today. So hard to believe she still isn’t with us. I Do my Our Mom and friend. Her and Dad were there through rough times in life and now Dad has to be both Mom and Dad : ) we are very lucky!!!

  2. Really touching mike!
    I’m sure that your mothers Is still next to you but from heaven!

    She became now an angel and hold u under her wings!

    Cheers!

    Jaime

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